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Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that is counted counts. - Al |
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The Four Man Plan has been dubbed the ultimate in romantic science, so we caught up with its author and creator Cindy Lu to discover why this dating technique so successful. As the name suggests, the basis of the Four Man Plan is to date, but not sleep with several men at the same time with total honesty so that they know that they are one of a number of potential suitors. You keep track of how you feel about each of them with the help of some visual graphs, until you find the one that you know is right for you. Cindy Lu came up with the plan after years of dating numerous Mr Wrong’s, and the book is frank, honest and packed full of humour and sound advice. We spoke to her to find out how it all works and uncover the nuts and bolts of becoming a Four Man Planner!  How does The Four Man Plan change how you think about dating and love?
 The Four Man Plan changes your perspective and turns dating into an absolute soul searching pleasure, because it takes the focus away from finding a lifelong partner to deciding what it is you really want.
When you start the Four Man Plan, you’ll find your perspective changes. Dating isn’t about the hunt for one incredible man, it’s about being the most amazing woman that you are in any situation and falling in love with yourself.  Why is it essential men know they are part of The Four Man Plan?
 Letting men know that you’re dating but not sleeping with other men does a number of critical things. It lets the men know they are competing and if there is one thing men know how to do, it’s compete!
Suddenly, armed with the knowledge that they are one of a number of choices, they become more chivalrous, more interested and more honest about their own situation. If they aren’t interested, they simply fall away with no drama – but if they are keen, it makes it crucial that at some point they will have to request, rather than assume exclusivity. These days, in the world of internet dating, it’s almost assumed that all parties are “shopping.” But serial monogamy, indiscriminate sex and obsessive husband hunting has gotten more and more common, so it’s important to let your men know that you aren’t that kind of girl! |
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How-To Dating Book Shows Divorced Women How to Win at Love By SHARI ALBERT Was Ronald Reagan the president and cell phones only a figment of the imagination the last time you were on the dating scene? Maybe your girlfriends have stopped returning your calls about ‘what your next move should be’ with that guy you met online? Or perhaps you are simply in need a dating tune up. If this sounds like you, author Cindy Lu has answered your prayers with her new book ‘The Four Man Plan’. This book will guide you through the rocky terrain of the dating world with a gentle touch, some tough love and a healthy helping of sassy-pants humor. Much like a wise sherpa, Cindy Lu takes our hands and leads us through the darkness and hopefully, into the loving arms of a new man and maybe a new you.
This “How To” dating book comes complete with step-by-step instructions based on a ‘scientific formula’, graphs and postulates about dating, relating and mating. There’s even a workbook for all you good students of ‘amore’. Coming form the perspective of someone who ‘didn’t get’ love, the author sheds some light on the do’s and don’ts of the complex dating world.
Divorce360: Can you tell us how you conceived of the ‘Four Man Plan’ and synopsize exactly what it is?
Lu: I created the Four Man Plan because I sucked at love. Seriously SUCKED at love. I had a full career's worth of one bad, overly dramatic, unsatisfying, feeling lousy relationship after another. I needed to re-think the whole ‘love thing’. The Four Man Plan worked for me and I'm excited to say, for lots of other women, too. The Four Man Plan is a way to systemize dating. There are easy to follow postulates and principles, as well as a tiny bit of math and a graph. Don't worry; If you made it past eighth grade (math), you'll be just fine. Most women re-enter the dating scene a little scared and intimidated. The 4MP (Four Man Plan) is great way to organize dating in your mind and (realize it) into your schedule. By dating multiple men, a 4M-Planner can make it more about her and way less about each individual guy.
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Take a Scientific Approach to Love with
The Four Man Plan The Four Man Plan: A Romantic Science chronicles author and actress Cindy Lu’s quest to find "Mr. Right" by taking a more scientific approach to her love life. The Result: The Four Man Plan - A brilliant system for finding love that combines the certainties of math and human behavior into a sure-fire formula for finding "Mr. Right". LATP: What inspired you to write The Four Man Plan? Cindy Lu: I created The Four Man Plan because my love life had sucked for as long as I could remember and I need to really wrap my brain around love in a totally different way. CL: I wrote The Four Man Plan, the book, because it was requested of me by women that had come to see the workshop version of my show by the same name. I wrote The Four Man Plan, the one woman show, because as an actress, doing a few lines here and there, even on the biggest shows on television, had started to become creatively crippling. I needed to create an opportunity to express myself. |
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And you thought math was irrelevant... by: Gwen Pawlikowski The Four-Man Plan: A Romantic Science
by: Cindy Lu
Broadway Books, a division of Random House, 2007
207 pages Girls have traditionally been discouraged from doing well at math. However, Cindy Lu’s new book, The Four-Man Plan, may demonstrate the reason why. When we use math to our advantage, we level the gender playing field, big time, in this case, when it comes to dating. Lu’s strategic dating plan has none of the complication of an algebraic equation. Instead, she starts with a simple idea: date four men continually. Compare them to each other. Graph and analyze their results. Eventually, sort out the weaker, less promising specimens and keep those that are honest, willing and loving. Say yes to all invitations, make sure the men know about each other and are therefore aware that they are competing. Sex is permissible but Lu’s rules include serial monogamy. In other words, if you start sleeping with one, then any other sex partner must be punted from the matrix, never to return. A new man can then enter the graph. |
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